My Tantric Journey Revs Up

I’ve been on a personal transformation quest ever since I discovered the concept of healing energies after a business meeting turned into an unexpected Reiki treatment back in ooh 2000, I think it was. From that point I’ve explored many things and Tantra has been on and off my radar for a fair few years but now, my tantric journey has decided it’s truly time to rev up a notch.

And well, I thought I’d share it with you. You love a bit of oversharing don’t you…

How it all started

I can’t honestly remember my first taste of Tantra, though it was probably via an erotic novel I was reading in secret to while away the lonely hours. And that infamous story about Sting doing ‘it’ for hours on end of course.

It only really came to my attention as something that maybe I could explore when my friend Michelle got started on her tantric journey in about 2010. She shared books she was reading and we talked over Bloody Mary’s or cups of tea about relationships we’d had and what we really wanted – with sex, love, work, life in general.

She decided she wanted to truly heal herself and sought a tantric therapist and found a lovely guy called Mark who lived in Hove at the time. His touch transformed her on many levels and as a result she decided she would like to do the same for others.

He took her through his Tantra training and I was a body for one of her lessons – I can hand on heart say she knows every part of me haha!

That was my first experience of Tantric massage and one that I found surprisingly easy to participate in. The worst bit was being the only one naked in the room but that quickly wore off as they matter of factly discussed and tried different touch and tension and relaxation techniques – some of which felt like a normal massage and some that were a lot more sensual.

It was weird as my mind was not turned on at all but I found that my body responded. No, there was no “happy ending” – honest. Though I wouldn’t have complained or been embarrassed by that point… Ahem.

After that, we did chat about me maybe travelling the same path as her but my self confidence wasn’t great and my personal life somewhat haphazard, so I decided that no, I’d wait to explore Tantra when I was with someone who was open to the idea.

I did however continue to read about sex and relationships on a regular basis and wish I was brave enough to fling my knickers to the wind and go on a workshop somewhere. I never did.

What IS Tantra?

Tantra is not just about lengthy orgasmic sex, though that will hopefully become a by-product of whatever I learn. It’s about integrating every part of you – the physical, emotional, spiritual. Loving yourself. Releasing emotional and mental blocks and ultimately dealing with your shit. Making you whole.

This is achieved by harnessing and using your sexual energy to circulate throughout your body through breath and meditation. This in turn spills over into every part of your life. It’s a creative force and helps attract into your life what you need for your highest good and in turn, those around you.

In fact, you can practise Tantra whilst single – both the philosophy and sexual aspects. I have just been too lazy to ever get round to it.

So how has my Tantric journey started to rev up?

I’ve been reading. A lot. Most recently it was Tantra, Sex, Orgasm & Meditation by Sean Orford who tantalisingly teases that he has a whole series written on this subject but only this first one seems to have been published – gawd dammit!

I also dug out a massage book called Tantric Massage – The Erotic Touch Of Love that I’d bought a long time ago but never had the opportunity to ponder over its pages… until now. Now I think I may have a willing victim to practise my ministrations on.

And the biggest move? I’ve had a chat with Michelle – check out her website at – and have taken the plunge to embark on a tantric experience, starting with a tantric massage.

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