Half the year has gone already. How did that happen? There was me thinking I’d been practising letting go.
Yes, I’ve been letting go of ‘stuff’, physical objects from my life maybe but how much of the emotional have I released too?
Was I hoping that in letting go of my belongings, I would part with old memories and feelings too?
It’s an interesting question I’d not asked myself until last night while I was having a great conversation with my friend Craig. Well, he poked me with the thought actually. He was trying to understand how I could bring myself to burn my journals, give all my photographs to the care of my ex husband and reduce my possessions to a suitcase (ok, and a box to fit my juicer and blender in).
It’s hard to explain.
I realised that I don’t like to get too attached to anything, as it will feel painful when it gets taken away or destroyed.
I then remembered various times while I was growing up, when my Mum would wait until I was out then ‘tidy up’. Those snails and lollipop sticks would be gone. Outrageous. Drawings and secret words discovered and discarded. Worst was when she washed my Doo-doo.. ermm yeah, my comforter blanket. It didn’t SMELL right any more and I cried in a very dramatic fashion for ages.
Why did she have no regard for how I felt? Why didn’t she listen?
I’ve tried to not do the same with my kids but I’ve been guilty of it at times, I know – I’m sorry Chloe and Spencer. I got round it in my head by involving them in the decision process as to what stayed and what didn’t and gave them boxes to shove it in so I wouldn’t be so tempted to ‘tidy up’.
Bless them, they really are living examples of how to love someone exactly as they are, as they just accept me and love me regardless.
How lucky am I?
And I love them too.
So anyway.. yeah.. although I choose to let go of objects at the moment, (some by accident – I washed my iPhone recently), I’m down to the core of what I really do value and it makes me think twice before replacing or adding to what I own.
Do I really need this?
Do I really want this?
A yes to either question holds the same value for me and that is why I carry items such as three stones, picked up on beaches around the world, that represent me and my children.
Do these things make me feel happy?
That is how I choose to live my life right now. By what makes me feel happy.
Letting go. So hard to do?
Not if I ask myself the right question.
And answer from my heart.